A Message For The Hopeless Romantic Who Has Unrealistic Ideas About Love

Ibukun
3 min readFeb 14, 2021

Dear Hopeless Romantic,

Your idea of love is a tough pill to swallow — it simply isn’t realistic. You overanalyse everything and look for grand gestures that will sweep your off your feet. When it doesn’t come, you feel empty and disappointed.

You have been that way since you watched your first rom-com. You melted as the damsel in distress was rescued by her prince charming. I have been there, I remember the feelings of hopefulness that it stirred within me, right from a tender age.

You put that notion above everything and desperately clung to the idea that when your coveted partner comes, you will finally be whole. You think that until then, anything you achieve in life is not worth celebrating in its entirely.

I can’t blame you for thinking that way. Everything you have seen in the movies has echoed this message. Even some of your inner circle of married friends and family — repeat these messages. They single shame you and ask when you are going to settle down. As if being single is a disease. Some even think that if you are not married by a certain age, there must be something wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with being single

What if I were to tell you that life is for living. That every season is worth celebrating. Yes, even in your single season. It’s actually one of the best seasons ever! You will look back on this time and cherish it. Now is the time to focus on chasing your dreams and doing your part to fulfil your purpose. So, enjoy this moment. Live it up!

Love yourself first

What if I told you that you could not genuinely love someone else until you learn to love yourself? Do you know how to practice self-love? Do you truly look after yourself?

When was the last time you told yourself that you are beautiful? That you are special. All those things you want your coveted partner to say to you, do you honestly believe them about yourself? If not, work on that.

Work on unresolved childhood traumas

Do you have some unresolved childhood insecurities that you are still clinging…

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Ibukun

SEO by day and freelance writer by night. Poetry and fiction writer at https://ibs-writes.com/blog/